“Dear Alenka, dear David,
Last week’s connection with my Dad did me good. David found words for what I had been feeling since he passed away. It was so beautiful to finally hear it from someone else.
I listened to our session every day, and each day I understood a little more of it emotionally and integrated it within myself.
My father did hurt me and let me down at times, but I never became truly angry with him. I was angry with him because he allowed my mother to treat me so cruelly, but not with the intensity my mind felt appropriate. I often wondered why that was and looked for the “fault” in myself. Now I know: it was not a fault, but deep knowledge. With the means he had, he did everything he could to protect me. ❤️❤️❤️ And he only left once he knew I was safe and strong enough. The gratitude for that brightens my life from now on.
What became visible through the fathers of the ancestral line… I was already able to sense that pattern as a child. My paternal grandmother was a very dark person, as were my aunt (my father’s brother’s wife) and my mother. My grandfather, my uncle, and my father were all frozen in their relationships with these women.
Within me, a small revolutionary part is beginning to stir - one that is ready to speak what needs to be said, without fear but with love. We are just getting to know each other and we will practise this together. 😉🥰
On the second day, I took the time to translate our session into German and share it with my daughter.
With the message from my father for her, and with my joy and emotionality about it, resistance becomes visible in her. She is not bringing her energies in harmony with mine, is not connecting… and is still giving room to the dark side.
I wish from my heart that, one day, she will be able to free herself from it and, together with me, eliminate the darkness.
Until then, I love her as my daughter, meet the darkness with light, and leave her reactions with her, here and now. I no longer judge her as one of the many painful experiences I have had with my family.
Challenging 🍀🌻🥰 … so many contradictory feelings at once. Everything is allowed to be. Everything makes sense. Everything has its place. I embrace myself.
Hugs, and warm greetings.
😘🌻
C.”
